It seems such an obvious distinction, Designated Drivers. Short hand in high school and college language, it’s the DD.
Whenever I talk to adults about Designated Drivers, they seem to be under the assumption that Designated Drivers consume no alcohol in order to be able to drive sober. That’s not the distinction that many high school and college students make.
I was speaking with tenth graders this past week and one of the boys proudly shared with me that he always checks with his DD before they drive home from a party. “You good to drive?” he’ll ask after his Designated Driver has been drinking. This student was pleased to report that he has been told at least once to find another ride.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard student reports that the Designated Driver is the one who has had the least to drink. What this most recent session reminded me is that adults use this universally accepted term to mean one thing, while kids morph the meaning into something else.
Talking to a parent of teens the other day, we were talking about the legal requirements to get a driver’s license. In Virginia a child must have forty hours of behind the wheel, ten at night, in order to apply for a license. Think about it -- A teenager, whose brain is still developing the judgment neural pathways, with a work week’s amount of experience behind the wheel, driving at night after drinking.
The reality is that they likely get this from us. Most adults I know don’t have a problem driving after drinking a glass of wine at dinner, or driving home from an evening of dinner and sharing a bottle of wine. So, hey, if Mom and Dad can do it—why can’t we?
The truth is, most often nothing bad happens. This reinforces for kids that it really is no big deal. The reality is that in the DC Metro area, at least three times a year we hear about drunk kids running into trees, trucks, or each other in vehicles they have limited experience driving.
Remember that after a party where there has been drinking, the kids will frequently use cell phones and text message while they head home. They really don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. We see it as a recipe for disaster.
So, what to do??? Talk and keep talking. Let your kids know that you have learned that there are two different standards for designated drivers. Tell them what you think. You’re raising bright, reasonable kids. Set up consequences for riding with any teens who have been drinking. Set consequences for cell phone driving.
And think about what you’re modeling and talk to your kids about that. Are you ready to model zero drinking Designated Drivers for the time being? If not can you explain your own behavior to your kids? Experience does count for something, but teens will look for hypocrisy. Without a reality check they will jump to their own conclusions.
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