I make my sons crazy because I am the parent who calls. As much as they would like me to trust them and their friends, it's their parents, I tell them, that I need to trust.
I am the parent who calls. I call parents when my kids are invited to their friends' homes. I make sure that there will be parents around, and hopefully supervising what is going on. I would love to be able to say that I am one of the parents who calls, but my sons believe that I am the only one who calls.
I have some standard questions about what is going on. The conversation looks something like this.
"Hi, I hear the kids are planning on getting together. . . Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that you are expecting my rapscallion. . . Do you know what they are planning?. . . Do you have an idea when I should pick him up? . . . What should he bring?" If it's a party planned, I sometimes ask if the hosts need any help with chaperones.
Now that the kids are more independent, it's not unusual for them to make a plan and for me to be going right along with it. Suddenly I realize that I have not confirmed the plans with parents I have known for years. I'm trying to stop doing that. I want to connect with the people who are taking responsibility for my sons. I want to make sure that they have heard the same plans that I have. I want to make sure that an adult knows where my kids are.
It's a pain to be the parent who calls. If you're uncomfortable being the only parent who calls, set up a team. You'll call on Monday, someone else calls on Tuesday, and a third parent calls on Wednesday. Or let it be 6 p.m., 6:40, and 7:30. Parents who are asked if they are paying attention are often more likely to pay attention then when we just drop off our kids.
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