A lot of college students I teach are interested in Parenting Styles. Some want to know what it was that helped their parents do a good job -- others want to avoid doing anything like their parents did. Every semester I read at least one research paper about parenting styles.
Diana Baumrind conducted the early research regarding parenting styles and her findings have been replicated fairly consistently. Here's some of what she and subsequent researchers have found:
Parenting success seems to rely on focussing in two areas -- Warmth and Discipline. Parents who are high in both of these areas tend to raise the most well-adjusted children.
Parents who are mainly focussed on Discipline (and are low in warmth) tend to focus on discipline and self-control to insure children's behavior. They tend to have children who are successful in school and who seem to avoid high risk behavior. Unfortunately, these kids rank lower in happiness and self-confidence and they tend to react poorly to frustration.
Parents who are mainly focussed on Warmth with little discipline or structure (often fearing that they will limit a child's potential) tend to raise children who think well of themselves and are confident even past a realistic assesssment of their abilities. These are kids who are not able to regulate emotions and, as a result, don't tend to develop good peer relationships. These children also don't tend to persist in difficult tasks and do not respond well to authority in the school or work setting.
Parents who regulate their parenting relationships with a balance of Warmth and Discipline tend to raise children who are more self-confident, develop strong peer relationships, and regulate emotions well. These kids tend to be able to tolerate frustration and report consistently higher levels of happiness. They experience success because they receive appropriate assistance and structure throughout their development. These parents engage in interactive relationships. They negotiate rules as kids demonstrate more responsibility and include their children in discussions to better understand the topics and issues of the lives the kids face. This helps their children be better prepared to negotiate the things that life throws their way.
Needless to say, there is no magic formula, and certain categories of kids (inner-city urban youth in particular) respond better to other parenting styles. Still, this information serves as a good overall guideline.
You can gain a sense of your own Parenting Styles as they relate to teenagers' behavior by clicking here.
Comments