Key Concepts

Parents and Driving

Teen driving.  It is the key to parental freedom, as well as teens'.  No more carpooling, no more arranging your schedules around their practices, rehearsals, or evening plans.  It is also a time that can be fraught with second guessing for ourselves and for them.  More and more teens are postponing getting their licenses or permits and letting their parents continue to drive them.  

There are a variety of reasons for this, but one reason is that teens have good instincts and know when they aren't ready.  A therapist tells the story of a father who was his client.  The father reported three different incidences where his son had increasingly serious car accidents.  The therapist finally asked his client "Do you think he's telling you he's not ready to drive?"

Our roads are more crowded then ever.  Drivers these days have become increasingly aggressive.  Teens are smart to want to wait until they feel ready.

When they are ready, (and even before) there are some important things for parents to remember.  

1- You are their driving role models.  This is not a 'Do as a I say not as I do' moment.  Explain what you are doing and why.  Explain why you do things that you don't want them to do, and apologize when you drive badly. 

2- Remember, you can make your own rules that exceed what your state requires.  Just because they have hit the right age does not mean they are ready.  You decide when they are ready to take their driver's test.

3- Practice makes better. One Arlington, VA family doubled the pre-license driving hour requirements for their boys.  They required highway experience before the license, too. Early Sunday mornings were a good opportunity to try out highway driving. 

4- Skills empower drivers. Require that they can drive smoothly in reverse, parallel park, fill the tank, change a tire, and check the oil. Girls as well as boys. The more they know, the more they feel in control and are willing to take control.  

5- There should be no crossed fingers at test time.  Everyone in your family should know when your teen is ready to become a driver.

One mom shared a great link to thinking about teen driving.  Check out the CDC's website and some of the links in the left hand column.

Happy Driving.

 

 

http://www.cdc.gov/ParentsAreTheKey/index.html

The European Way

Many of us would like to use the "European Model" for teaching our children to use alcohol safely and wisely.  We have an image (or overseas experience) that suggests that the Europeans, who allow teens to drink at younger ages, sit and enjoy a leisurely glass of wine while gathering with family or friends.  Unfortunately, the reality is very different.

In 2003 the Department of Justice published a comparison of youth drinking rates in Europe as compared to the US.  Specifically looking at the incidence of heavy drinking, US teens come in second to last in terms of prevalence of heavy drinking.  Only Turkey has lower rates of heavy drinking, and Turkey is a Muslim country (Islam bans drinking alcohol.)

Last year Germany  began considering raising their drinking age.  Now France is considering curbing binge drinking by raising their drinking age from 16 to 18.  You can hear a report on the BBC News show The World.

The Science is clear.  Teenaged drinking is dangerous, and introducing teens to drinking is more likely to lead to abuse.  Click on the links and see that Europe is starting to pay attention, too.

Beach Week

Beach Week is a time at the end of the school year when high school students want to get away from all of the pressures of finals, grades and graduation commitments. More often than not, this is an unchaperoned event. For some it is the last chance to be with friends before everyone heads in many different directions. For others it is the opportunity to act anonymously using alcohol, drugs, and sex to celebrate the end of school.

One study looked at the behaviors of senior girls at beach week. The outcomes were compelling. Eighty-two percent of the girls who had sex during that week did so while they were drunk. Seventy-five percent of the girls reported daily drunkenness. Sixty-four percent reported that they drank eight or more beers/wine during a typical beach week party. Fifteen percent of respondents (9/59) stated that medical attention was necessary for themselves or a close friend because of injuries or medical problems while they were drunk or high during beach week.

Natalie Holloway was on a Beach Week vacation when she was abducted. Part of the appeal of Aruba is its 18 drinking age.

Another tragedy was the North Carolina college student beach house fire that killed seven. While we await the final report, many suspect that the victims had been drinking heavily and could not escape the fire after a night of partying.

There are a lot of considerations to think about when considering Beach Week.
-Is this a child who will take risks when not supervised?
-Is this a child who has modeled responsibility even when others have behaved irresponsibly?
-Do the activities of Beach Week coincide with your family values?
-Have the kids planning the trip considered the variety of high risk outcomes associated with Beach Week?

Check out some tips for talking to teens about Beach Week. Make sure you are comfortable and confident in your family's decision.